Hi,

Many things are in my mine now! Didn't get good results, not what i had expected, heh, was quite jealous of everyone, people who score well and people who score badly. I was jealous that why do they got so much comfort and pats from friends and others, but i got none . I too have bad results, do i have to cry to earn them? Whr are all my friends? Where is the promising clique? Where? i do not see them coming. Anyway, thankyou you jingwen and Karin, thank for your great help and concern, although some help me be a bit too late, but thankyou anyway saukuen. Now! DAE, JAE, Lasalle, H.Nitec, Repeat. Hey which one to choose? And for guys, ugh! Deferment! This is headache. Why cant just change the enlistment age to 21 instead! Let Singapore men pursue for their studies! Isn't this what Singapore wanted all along? To prosper Singapore's economy and increase the talent pool?

Clique, I want to ask you this question (excluding Saukuen, Karin, Jingwen)? I ask you, what if Karin didn't voice out to the whole clique in her blog about what she feels about the clique. Will you people even know? And after that, Will you people even go find out what happen to her? I doubt so. You people wont. I think only when saukuen told you guys Karin is emoing, then u guys reacted. Heh! Do you people even know that i feel neglected from the clique all the time? Do you people even know that i always feel lonely and abandon in the clique all the time? I doubt so. Okay, maybe i didn't tell, maybe i didn't show, heh, but even if i tell, will you people even care? I doubt so. My purpose of joining the clique is to make more friends, to have accompany, so i wouldn't be lonely at home. But i do not feel that, i do not get what i had expected! Okay, maybe i know you people are thinking in your mind, "Haiya, then interact with us more lah! Talk to us more lah. Haiyo, so easy!" Heh, wow, wooooo, so easy for you to say that! Yah, you can say that, not doubting you, its true, but yes, this is what i had been doing, all the time, until now! Its is just that you people do not see it! It is just that you people do not give me a chance! Because every time i try, you people either flush me aside and ignore me, or just continue with what you people are doing. I always tell myself to forgive and forget, and try again. But i just want to let you people know or i know that you will never find out.

And this! I feel neglected. Never felt wanted in the clique. Never felt important in the clique. Never felt appreciated in the clique. Heh, i don't think any one of you will even appreciates what i had done for the clique, okay, Maybe some. But because you people just take it as granted, i don't even think you people will remember what i had done for the clique, right? You people didn't even care who did it. Let me just state one out, which just happen recently last year. Remember who help you people deal with Snorlax? Its me you know!? Not some Blangladesh where you can find on the street. Who stand up to help? Hey, actually there is nothin between me and Snorlax, i admit i do hate IT, but never though of hurting IT. Okay, maybe is because of Karin and someone (sorry can't say) that i help them out, but, it benefits the clique too, didn't you guys also hate IT? Hey, chill people, im do not expect anything from you guys, not a gift, not a medal for courage, not prize money. I just want a "Thankyou Brandan, Thankyou so much." That all, is that hard to give? I can state out everything you people have done for the clique, because i remember them and appreciate them, you want them? Tell me! I will list it out, all of them, every single member, what had they done. Try me. Haiz, its too late to give me the thankyou i expected long ago, anyway i had forgiven you guys already.

Actually im here telling you all this not because i want to empty my grievance and tell everybody im unhappy about the clique. I want to tell you people, what is really a clique? But first, ask you a question, do you people even know what clique is suppose to be, or clique is just a name for our group of friend and go out together and eat together? No, its not. Do you know that, whatever you people had tagged on Karin's blog maybe already too late? You want to know why? Clique is about compassionate care and love for each and every member in the group, constantly asking how are they doing, is anything troubling you, what can i do to help you, does anyone feel unhappy? Its all this, instead of just only when the problem comes, then you guys come in and give comfort and care and bickering lies where they just came to your mind when u read others grievance, trying to cover up your asses! Sorry to say to myself, , i did that too before, and i feel really bad about it. Do not lie to yourself anymore, if you guys are sincere enough to give care and comfort, all this thing wouldn't have happen at all, and Karin's blog would have all your comments and tagged before she post up the 2 post about her exam and her feeling for the clique. Sorry to say that i may be hurting some of you people, i didn't wanted to, i just want the clique to stop walking down the wrong alley and walk to the correct path. Clique? Do you understand me? I am not reprimanding you people, im telling you people to go the correct way. stop walking blindly. Think okay?

I was thinking, why should i even post this post? Do anyone of you care? Heh! Maybe some. You people do not care, but i do care for you people, or i would not be here wasting my sleep time here posting this post. I know what you people are going to do, first, you're going to say, "Brandan, you are not alone, do not think like that." okay, then explain why did i feel so alone before i posted this post? Why only now you people start reacted? Why only you people start to realise? Why didn't you people find out long ago? "We will be there for you." Are you sure? I do not see that all the time, maybe minimal to only 1person is showing me that. Yah you will be there for me, yes, but why after i have solve the problem myself, then you people help me? Be there for me? Be there for us? Why are we solving this problem ourselves, and you people are out there frantically thinking a variety of what course you people should take, while we are thinking of options to even find a course? You tell me, who are the ones struggling, while you people continue complaining about your result. Think in your heart, we call ourselves the Clique, but are we showing it? No! Not even close.

Heh, I doubt that you people would even read my blog. (Only Karin and Ashley reads, jingwen too! The only people I trust, the rest, make me do it and try) Not only when i announce it to the world, "Hey, over here, Brandan is trying to reach out to his clique to throw all his emotions at you people. Please come and take a look". Heh! Then just treat this place as an empty void for me to dump my emotions. Bye bye.

Brandan

Slept at 4am.